Original content by community member: Merlask

Use this to help you to develop and plan your story about character relationships. After all, it isn't so simple as walking down the isle in the style of the modern wedding of western tradition. You are dealing with a different world all together.

Caveats about the Guide:

• The following is for use for roleplaying in-game and for inspiration. It is not 'law' nor is it 'official'
• This relates to roleplaying, and not to relationships between players out of game, or dating through the game. Story writing here folks, story writing
• Regard this as a work of entertainment - ultimately the way you write your story is yours and yours alone to do with as you see fit
• Roleplaying relationships can be tricky, so I recommend listening to the DDOCast 'Ask Mer'lask' segment that appears in episode 5 for warning/advice about this matter (segment is a little under halfway through the episode)

So now that we have the boring caveats out of the way...

Love & Weddings of Eberron: Inspiration

You've been writing for your roleplaying characters for a while now. Things are going along swimmingly in the land of adventure, plunder, drama, and conspiracy. Then one day... along comes another presence that manages to impact your character. That's right, we're talking about 'love.' Not just the 'I am so smitten by you' love, but the complex entity that is: how characters are affected by relationships. Not everyone's story has this element, and that is fine, but for those who do, questions begin to arise.

WHY WEDDINGS & LOVE??? I'M HERE TO KILL STUFF

Contrary to popular belief, players do work love into their roleplaying stories more often than you might think. Anything from already being wed to someone, to having an admiration of another character, or a loved one they lost in the war, this theme is a frequent one planted in the player's story writings. This write up will not be of much interest to those who just want to swing the blade all day and never bother with such issues. In fact, it is also not unheard of for a person to be so 'caught up in their work,' that they deprive themselves of relationships with others. Hence, it is also acceptable for this to never be an issue for a character, and for you to spend your days strictly adventuring with nary a love story to meddle in your triumph, if that is what you like to read/write about. But for the rest of us...

Love... In All Its Shapes & Forms

Let us move to the matter of how characters can experience love, and/or be in relationships. There are many forms it can take of course.

• It can be spawned by friendship...
• It can be a business arrangement or political matter with no feelings between the couple...
• It can even be courtly love, where one character knows that the other is off limits (sometimes on pain of death!).

There is never one way to approach the subject, thus there should also never be one way that you are expected to bring two characters together, if that is your decision. Having characters 'like' other characters is easy enough... where it starts to get complicated is how you go about mating them, in terms of the setting.

Weddings In The Setting

Most roleplayers try to stick within some sort of reasonable boundary of the setting. However, at present there has been no clear or definitive example for the players to go off of. So this leaves those players struggling to have to whip things up from scratch. Not all players enjoy doing that (else pre-written modules and campaign settings would be of no use in the first place). Instead, let us help to provide you with some great starter material to get you on your way.

Always remember that the writers of this setting have many parallels with the real world. Sometimes literal, other times only metaphorically. Thus you can treat marriage and mating in stormreach the same way. There are going to be times when the crush of society or accepted traditions might prove to be an obstacle for your character's in their desire to be together. However, there will also be times when the characters coming together is a wondrous occurrence with no conflict involved. The trick is conducting the story of your character's union in a way that is appropriate to the world... or... at least to the players involved anyway.

Inspiration From The Real World

Almost all writers and artists draw inspiration from the world around them. The writers of Eberron are no exception. Thus, to help foster some great ideas, it's important to look at real world traditions that have held true for thousands of years. This is the safest way to believably incorporate the concept of character unions. Sure, the fine details may have changed over time, but some things NEVER change... and seem to cross all cultures and times. It is not so far fetched to assume they also cross worlds.

Examples of Basic Unions

• Most all creatures that take mates, for any enduring length of time, have some form of ritual involved in sealing the deal. For humans, it can come down to ceremonies or visual cues that 'I am with this person.'
• Most cultures have some way that others can look upon a 'couple' and know definitively that the two are together. For some it is more official than others. In Egyptian times, couples exchanged rings. In Roman times, you exchanged rings, had a party with your friends, and signed a government legal document.
• Not all unions come from love. Political weddings, designed to form alliances between nations or noble houses, are a very old standing practice.
• Not all who love 'marry.' You don't need to look very far in modern times to find examples of this. Thinking to older times, there are times when couples shun their traditional surroundings in order to be together, and exile themselves to live away from the objection of others.
• Not all who wish to marry are able to do so. There are countless tales of star-crossed lovers who try to buck their surroundings, and are unsuccessful. examples: Romeo & Juliet (see also Pyramus & Thisbe), Braveheart, The King and I, and countless others. Granted that is a pretty depressing notion but... it can be an element in your writing.
• Many individuals and cultures have long standing traditions that are passed from generation to generation regarding unions. Jumping brooms, exchanging rings, throwing rice, tying cords round wrists, holding festivals/parties, having witnesses, smashing glasses, signing paperwork, wearing certain types of clothing or ornamentation... the list goes on and on. Often times, the original purpose behind these traditions can get lost along the way.
• The formal practice of people coming together is largely dependent on community and physical barriers. Divisions by an ocean, for example, will affect the speed by which traditions are spread or ideals are held in the eyes of a given region.

Official Eberron Setting Material on Marriage

Here is what IS known about marriage in the Eberron setting, as written in 'Faiths of Eberron' (as compiled courtesy of MysticThurge):

Sovereign Host

"The wedding ceremony incorporates local traditions as well as religious mandates and thus varies widely from community to community. Some are somber affairs with much chanting; others are joyous accompanied by dance and song..."

Silver Flame

"Weddings among the Purified are always conducted during one of the high holy days rather than forming ceremonies unto themselves..."

Undying Court

"Marriage on Aerenal is not a religious affair but an agreement between two elves who love one another..."

Blood of Vol

"By its very nature, [the Blood of Vol] has little interest in what passes for daily life among the civilized people of Khorvaire. Weddings, for example, are of no significance to most Seekers."

Other

Additionally, it is common knowledge that the Houses of Eberron often arrange their marriages for the betterment/strength of their lines, or for political alliance.

Now while this is informative, it might not exactly help you if your character is living in stormreach (which they most definitively are spending their time there as that is where DDO is set), isn't born of a house, and is not of the above faiths. For example, if you are a follower of the Path of Light, where does THAT leave you? Try to learn as much as you can about what your character believes, and this will help you decide what they expect out of a mate or ritual to become one.

Ideas For Character Weddings

Consider these to be 'conventions' of in-game weddings/unions. This is not official, nor is it 'law,' it is merely a list of ways your characters can approach this. After all, predominantly players who seek this out are looking for ways to make it apparent that their characters are 'together.'

Who presides over the ceremony

Now traditionally in the real world, a wedding in western culture can be presided over by the following entities: A priest, a captain, a judge. Additionally, in other cultures it can be a holy man (think shaman, not necessarily head of a church), a legal official (such as a clerk of courts), or even just the head of a village or city. So let's take that to the next level and here are some recommendations for who can preside over your character's wedding if that is what you want:

NPCs

• Brothers and Sisters of the taverns
• Captains of the airships
• Hostile mob priests if you're feeling brave. (fascinate or charm could be needed here.)
• High ranking city officials in game

PCs

• Guild leaders or officers
• Clerics (Paladins to a lesser degree)
• Group leader (not as reliable but could be an option)
• Other players who volunteer to run a story NPC for you
• Other player characters who are known to be 'important' so far as the story is written in your RPing community

Elements for your in-game weddings

Some quick and common items you can try to bring into your roleplay to make it more involved and entertaining:

Rings

Find matching rings in game, or go out and buy rings for one another. Can be based on looks or what the ring grants ability wise, or a location that it came from. Maybe you want to exchange dex rings, or maybe you want the ring for your beloved to come from the desert.

Contracts

You can always opt to purchase a legal document from the Coin Lords to 'officially' recognize your union and the range of your property (such as if your characters had a dowry). This is all of course completely imaginary, as in game there is no such physical item. Give some new meaning/life to those collectables that you find in the dungeons (house sealed letters, cryptic messages, etc), or you can always use scrolls for such a purpose.

Ceremonial Gear

Pick out an outfit to wear that will be for the occasion. Have a weapon or weapons on you that are strictly for looks/ceremony. You can really get creative with this.

Party Favors

For thousands of years, guests to celebrations have enjoyed some form of party related item. Rice (or in roman times, nuts) to throw for fertility, food to eat, songs to sing, dances... and fortunately for us the game has no short supply of items that can be used here. We have cupcakes, jellycakes, candy, cookies... we have coal we can throw or daggers for the more brave... we even have dancing! Get a bard to cast an otto's sphere, or lead a line dance! The idea is for those who attend to have ways to give their well regards.

But speaking of guests and weddings...

Types of in-game story weddings

Just because two characters want to be together doesn't mean that it happens in the same way. The level of involvement of others is something to be considered for your roleplaying. Here are ideas for how to incorporate other players into your character's happy news:

Private Weddings

Your characters want to keep this on the down low. They don't really care who else knows, they just want to be together.

• Have your characters pledge to one another. What it consists of is entirely up to you. Try to keep it appropriate to what your character believes or was raised around.
• The characters can exchange items. Rings, weapons, gifts... some token that the characters can keep to signify the union
• Depending on your character's beliefs, have an NPC (or a 3rd player) to oversee the two characters agreeing to be with one another
• Remember that if your two characters are in love and happy, they may not care about rituals or being official. They may just be content in their love, and exist as a couple, but undergo no such activities

Mid-sized Weddings

Your characters are in love, but want to share that happiness with those close to them. These are usually more public, and more likely to involve some 'official' recognition of union.

• Have your characters union be witnessed by a party, or raid, or even your guild mates.
• Have fun with your fellow players writing up traditions that you have to undergo in order for the characters to be viewed as wed in the eyes of others
• Bring items for guests such as cupcakes, twigs, or other things that they can use or keep to remember the occasion
• Conduct the ceremony in a part of stormreach with less traffic, such as in smaller taverns, in instances, or other places where you're less likely to be walked in on by passers by or non-rpers
• Form a temporary guild and conduct all the interaction/conversation for the wedding in guild chat
• Form a user created chat room for guests and the wedding participants to communicate
  • You can take it to another level and password protect the chat room. Knowing the password to the room is considered as the wedding invitation to guests.

Big Weddings

Your characters want the whole world to know about this union. It can be for political reasons, or simply because they want a huge celebration, or because the tradition of their cultures warrants it.

• Conduct the wedding in a public zone. This usually requires more help from fellow players to keep the guests organized, and the event flowing
• Have a well known figure preside over your ceremony
• Have elaborate rituals or other things for the couple, and/or the guests, to do in order to complete the union (can be the same for mid and small weddings too)
• In addition to characters who are close to the couple, invite other roleplayers to attend
• Create a user created chat channel - they span across the whole server so anyone from anywhere in game can watch and participate if you really want a rocking wedding party!

Reception Only Weddings

Your characters had a private or small wedding, but the after party is going to be a big event! This is ideal if you'd like the ceremony of your wedding to be "serious", but want to have some zany antics with larger throngs of people afterward. Sometimes you might love your friends and non rper buddies, but you don't necessarily think their attendance at your character's wedding is going to be very entertaining for them, or sane for you.

• Host the wedding in a quest instance or guild chat with a smaller group, and then host a reception in a user chat channel.
• Have your reception in a public zone like a Tavern or other fun area in game
• Gather up goodies to give out to passers by to encourage them to join in the party.
• Publicize the location/times of the reception rather than the wedding itself. This keeps throngs of guests funneled to your after party, not your wedding party.
• Invite RPers and your non-RPer friends to attend. Maybe you'd like to just goof around with a naked raid run or slug each other in the PvP pits. Your reception can be totally out of character, and just used as an excuse to get together with friends and hang out.

Non Traditional Weddings/Issues

There are always those who strive to be together, but the society around them has some qualm with that happening. Here are some examples of this, and how you can work with it story wise:

Racial unions

He's an elf, she's a dwarf, but they're in love. Consider that it may or may not be favorable in the eyes of others for certain races to be together, and your characters may or may not care about it. Think of how real world people have trouble when their family/friends don't approve. Consider that element of the story. It could mean a private wedding for the characters, or a need to keep their marriage a secret.

Is it love?

Recently the topic of warforged marriage came up with our roleplayers. On one hand, the warforged involved aren't entirely solid in their understanding of what love/marriage is. Think of it on the same level as when a little kid proclaims another little kid is their 'boyfriend'... or you can regard it as the warforged trying to connect with other living creatures by undergoing a ritual that most wouldn't think a living construct would be interested in.

Love vs The rest of the world

In terms of the warforged example, consider too that adverse reaction to your characters being together is often grounded in 'well...there's no law against it... but it's not right!'

You will always have those who disapprove, those who want happiness for their friends, and those who are indifferent. Keep that in mind that in some cases, your characters being together is going to make a rough road for them as a couple, or perhaps even change the face of the culture around them.

More Fun Traditions & Wedding Mythology

Here are some ideas I've had, or run across from other players/writers, in terms of actually conducting your wedding or how others in the story regard it

• I read that a player once had a wedding with their dwarf, and part of the celebration included the guests having to hang on his beard to test the strength of it. Think of it as a test of virility.
• My main human character had a wife... as far as everyone else knew. What was not known widely was that she was a bride for an arranged marriage, who didn't wish to wed, and my character helped to smuggle her out of town basically. In their travels, the two became close, and exchanged rings. However, there were no legal documents for their wedding. When they arrived in their new locality (with a little help from Bard Charisma skills), they introduced themselves with their new names, and as a married couple, despite the fact they never actually had a wedding.
• For at least one culture I've read (gnome i think it was) the process of wedding is a week long festival
• One interesting method that two players/characters can conduct a wedding is a new character creation! Create two new characters with the same surnames, and play them/level them together.
• Require that a certain spell must be cast upon the couple
• The couple is required to go on a 'hunting party' or other such quest, and complete it together, before they may undergo their wedding. (Great for explorable areas)
• Any test related to proving how good of a mate the bride and groom are for one another is worthwhile for a wedding. This can include fist fights in PVP areas, having to face a hard to kill creature, having to leap a certain height or distance, or any number of challenges designed to show that the couple will be a 'good union' as it were.
• You can have a dowry from one or the other of the characters. Offerings of plat/gold, certain gear, etc can be an element in the event.
• You can have heirloom or traditional items involved, such has having to wear a certain sort of helm, or having one sword that is always brought by the guild leader that the couple uses to slay a certain monster, and all sorts of nifty things.
• As a further show of togetherness (especially if you're worried about not having matching surnames), if the two characters are in guilds, one character can be brought into the other person's guild. You can also just create a new guild for your two characters to belong to in place of altering surnames.

Hopefully this will help you to be creative and inspired when it comes to roleplaying weddings in Xen'drik! So here's to all those happy (or at least dramatic) story couples out there! /toast